this oatmeal has god damn dinosaur eggs in it and then when you cook it THE DINOSAURS FUCKIN HATCH IM SO PUMPED
Most of the time, you refuse to accept the fact that this is the end of the story that you are having with that someone.
Everything seems so right from the start. You still remember every single word that was ever written in the very first page. The memory of how that person looks when you first laid your eyes on him and the way your heart raced as if telling you that this person is not one of the ordinary ones who passed by in your life. You still remember every single detail, from the way he said his name when he introduced himself up to the texture of the skin of his hands when you first held it when you shook it. You still remember the way he smiled at you and the way you shyly returned the gesture. You still remember being so giddy the moment he went away and the way you wanted to know him more, see him more, talk to him more, be with him more.
You still remember every first thing that you have ever done with him. The first text message you received when he first got your mobile number. The first time he called you in the middle of the night and how you were making sure that your voice is low enough so that you would not be heard by the people around you. The first time you went out and how you two swore that it wasn’t a date but it felt like it, didn’t it? It felt like you were the happiest person in the world because you are with the guy who made your heart beat so fast. The first time he held your hand and the very first movie you watched with him. The first time he wrapped his arms around you and the first kiss you have shared with him. You still remember all the firsts that you had with him and the ones that came after all those things and now your mind is full of chain of memories that is slowly breaking your heart because of the fact that you can never have them again.
The moment you found out that he wants to put a period into a story that you are planning to write for the rest of your life, you felt yourself fall apart. You just can’t get over the with idea of ending what you have written. You just can’t let him end something that you believe that was meant to last forever. You wanted to beg for him to get the pen again and to continue in writing because you believe that this is what you should be doing. But then he told you that he wants to write another story with someone else and that this story is not going anywhere at all for his heart is no longer in the words that he write with you. So you did nothing but accepted his decision because there is nothing else that you could ever do. You just let go of the pen and let the ink spill into the ground.
But then, there is still a part of you, there will always be a part of you that is aching to write that story again. There is something inside you that is fighting the urge to run up to him and ask him to start writing again but then these things could never be and so you have to close the book where your story with him was written and you have to start writing a new story. Most of the times, you just can’t afford to accept the fact that your story with that someone has ended but then you have to remember that endings are where new beginnings begin and that is where you should focus now: on writing an excellent beginning of the new chapter of your life.
You promised you’d be here. Where were you?
Diba sabi mo “nandito lang ako sa tabi mo kapag kailangan mo ako” Nasan ka nung mga oras na kailangan kita? nung may problema ako? nung gusto ko ng tapusin ang buhay ko? nung madami akong problema? yung mga oras na kailangan na kailangan kita, nasan ka? Diba, parehas ka din nila. Iniwan mo din ako at nagsawa ka din sakin. Sana nung nagsabi ka ng mga salitang “nandito lang ako para sayo” nag isip isip ka muna kung kaya mo ba talagang panindigan yung mga sinasabi mo.
Umasa ako, Umasa ako na kapag kailangan kita dadating ka agad. Makikinig ka sa mga problema ko, matutulungan mo ako sa mga problema ko, ikaw lang naman kasi nakakapag alis ng problema ko eh. Kapag kasama kita, nalilimutan ko lahat ng problema ko. Pero nasan na yung sinabi at pinangako mo? Pinako mo lang naman eh, pareho lang naman kayong lahat. Ganyan kayo! Sasabihin na “nandito lang ako para sayo” pero iiwan naman din pala. Sana hindi ka nalang nag bitiw ng mga salitang hindi mo naman pala kayang panindigan.
Yan ang problema ngayon eh, kapag kailangan mo ang isang tao hindi nagpapakita pero kapag siya ang may kailangan sayo, makikita mo agad. Akala mo sa mga oras na kailangan mo siya, nandiyan siya pero wala. Reality kasi ito eh, Sarili mo lang ang kakampi mo sa mga oras na may problema ka. Hindi ito isang libro na nakasulat dun eh kapag may problema ka may tutulong sayo kaso hindi eh. Reality is Reality, Mag isa mong haharapin ang mga problema mo.
Lalaking marunong mahiya, marunong maghintay at higit sa lahat seryoso magmahal.